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My Approach

My approach to therapy is this: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. There are reasons, very good reasons, to everything you do, think, and feel. Here is how I see it. 


All the experiences in your life, particularly the hurtful ones, contribute to the resilient person that you are today. (Don’t think the word ‘resilient’ describe you? Read on.) Because your resiliency, you developed behaviors, thinking schemas, emotional responses, and interpersonal relationship patterns to self-preserve and self-regulate in times of trauma, crisis, and pro-longed distress. These trauma, crisis, and distress-responsive coping strategies and defense mechanisms, while useful for survival, take a toll in the long run, and may become problematic for you to thrive.   


Or perhaps you have always been a high functioning person, taking things in stride and usually have a positive outlook in life.  However, life suddenly delivers a heavy punch: perhaps you experience a tremendous loss, perhaps you are going through a very difficult transition, or perhaps you are just tired of always being the strongest person in the room and you know it’s time to take care of yourself for once. You want a space to decompress, feel safe to be vulnerable, and not be the care-taker with all the solutions. 


I believe that each person comes to therapy with their unique circumstances and their history of learned behaviors and thinking.  Each person has a different therapy need and may respond to different therapeutic approaches. I believe in being an INTERGRATIVE THERAPIST. This means that you and I will work on finding the best way to get you the results.  At times, we will talk about how you formed your current patterns, we may talk about how your world is shaped by your early experiences. We may talk about your family and the past if it’s helpful, but we don’t have to. I believe that understanding how patterns came to be is important for insight and healing, and it is also important to TAKE ACTIONS, start taking concrete steps toward a life that is rich, full, and meaningful to you. 


I base my integrative therapy approach from theoretical orientations such as Person-Centered, Family Systems, Positive Psychology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy.  Often time, I combine this integrated approach with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). In this evidence-based therapy approach, we will honor and appreciate your thoughts, emotions, believes, actions, coping strategies and all that makes you “YOU”.  We will learn how these patterns have served you and how they may be expanding or limiting you at present time.  We will learn and practice new ways of relating to the events in your life and define your true self that is all encompassing and transcending.  We will look at the present moments as they are, without living in the past where depression dwells or in the future where anxiety lurks. All the learning and practice we do are for one thing: they are for you to take the steps leading you to who or what truly matter to you. 


My promise to you is that you will never be alone in our therapeutic relationship. I will be with you at every turning point, taking on road blocks and turning them into stepping stones. I look forward to working with you. 


Make it a good mental health day,


Tsai-ling Fraher


(949) 988-0259

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